Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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