You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
