At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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