i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
