Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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