took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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