i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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