real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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