it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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