I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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