you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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