hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
