This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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