Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
