kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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