I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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