yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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