think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
