I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
