guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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