She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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