i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
