Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
