barbara walters just said penis...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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