This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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