did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
