Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
