Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize