you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
