One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
