was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
