but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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