am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
