I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
