did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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