I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
