oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she smelled like a LAN party
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
