I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
