Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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