i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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