he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
