first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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