just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
