I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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