i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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