This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You took a bar mat shot.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
