Buhtt sex?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
