well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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