its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
