Im at strip club and am horny
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
