you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
