Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize