oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
