Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
