i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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