Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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