Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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