How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
