honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
