This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
