they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
