The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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